Loathe was I to cast you off,
To pluck the flower and the thorn
That tore at my side and pierced the heart.
And even though you’ve returned,
My love is still gone–wherever you left it,
Somewhere outside downtown San Diego.
Who were you, oh man,
To play Savior to the world,
Or even one girl?
Your life so full of the holes and scars
You dug for yourself over and over,
Trying to recreate what you never truly knew.
Did you discover happiness? Love?
Of course not. Though you strived for–
Though you hoped for–something impossible.
What did you find in place of these?
Some pain if you’d let yourself feel it,
betrayal if you’d name it, and humility.
And here you are, by grace–
There’s no other name for it–
Generally unscathed. And wiser.
Life is unfair, it’s always been said,
And so it is: unjustly have I been treated,
Given mercy where I do not deserve it.
Somehow, justice and mercy coincide;
Though from my view, mercy triumphs,
I know my debts were paid long ago.